Did you just mention a guy’s name? Doesn’t matter if he’s your friend, your coworker, or the repair man that came to fix your air conditioner. She wants details.
She will flirt with men your age in an attempt to hook you up. Sure, she tells them all about her daughter, but the guy never really knows if she’s trying to set him up with you or her.
She thinks you’re too picky. Give him a chance, she says!
Are you running out to the grocery store to pick up milk? Not in those sweatpants, you’re not.
No matter how many times you’ve recapped your awful dates with guys you met online, she insists you should ‘get back out there’.
She wants to know why you’re not interested in your neighbour. You know, the one who didn’t even finish high school.
What about the magician from your cousin’s bat mitzvah?
The cookie man that works at Costco?
Why not the guy half your height?
She’s worried when you tell her all the guys you hang out with are ‘just friends’.
She keeps you updated on everyone who is getting married and having babies. Whether you know who the heck they are is irrelevant.
She introduces you to men she barely knows.
What about the guy you went out with that hasn’t called you in over a month? You should see what he’s up to.
She tells you to be ‘nicer’ to guys and ‘let loose’. You know exactly what she means.
She says things like, ‘You know, I’d really like grandkids someday’.
She calls you everyday wanting to know about that nice guy you mentioned in passing. (He turned out not to be very nice).
She wants the world to know she has really nice daughters.
She carries pictures of you in her wallet to show to ‘nice guys’ she meets at the grocery store, at the gas station, at the bank and even at funerals.
She has your phone number memorized, for the sole purpose of handing it off to eligible bachelors. And when they call you, she swears it wasn’t her.
Well, there goes your chances with any man your mom has met.